Member-only story
Hola friends! 👋
In a recent conference, I talked about how I absolutely sucked as a Product Leader in the beginning. Attributing most of it to a few things:
Being a People Pleaser. When I first became a Product Leader and started managing people, my goal was to become the “best product leader they’ve ever had”. I wanted to be liked so much; that I focused mostly on becoming what they wanted their leader to be. In the end, I was a mishmash of personalities and behaviors that weren’t even mine.
Being hyper-vigilant. I pay way too much attention to subtle signs of displeasure from other people. A habit I developed when I was younger, having grown up in a culture where giving feedback is not an option to show if you’re upset; but withholding any affection/attention/etc is. And in my quest to be the most liked person on the planet for my team — I’ve tuned into their verbal and non-verbal cues. And making assumptions about them.
Being conflict-averse. If I feel like a person is coming for me, I want to run and hide. I delay, for as long as possible, difficult conversations with my team. Even just giving constructive feedback can be a whole endeavor. Anticipating 5 different responses I can get — none of them a “thank you for your feedback”. And being a wreck in between.
